FAILURE TO LAUNCH

Dear Doris,

i feel like its been a long while since we last spoke.... ive been very sick but you have always been on my mind( ok im lying about the sick part)
My back is hurting, maybe its all the Fanta i drank last night!! 

Moving on!!!

I dont know the relevance of my title, the only thing closest to that title that happened today was 'WAKING UP'!!!

i love big crowds with new faces... with this i mean random women ill probably never meet again!! i like laughing at them!! So i was talking to this particular one, she was skinny and had loads of make up and will not stop talking!! at this point you already know i am least bit interested!! i cannot see her face, i met her way after dark and i am as blind as the lenses on Chinese phones!!! It was CONVERSATION!! i am already aware of her low intelligence 5 minutes into the conversation... She keeps on saying her friends think she looks like Nikki Minaj!! HAHAHAHA! I know i am blind, BUT NOT THAT BLIND!its like comparing JENNIFER HUDSON and Kimberly Elise!! Dont get it twisted, i love Kimberly Elise.... as a person! She tells me shes done 3 guys this week!!! SHE HAD MY ATTENTION!!

ladies and gentlemen please note that all i said was "Ian is my name..." from then on, i just looked at her...

"you are a whoeeeee!!" i told her jokingly.... she laughs loudly and says... "I know right??"

Shes lucky was HIGH on my Fanta and didnt mind.....

"You heathen" i joked again...... " whats a heathen?" she asked!! She was serious!!!

I WALKED AWAY!!!